"Quiet, I need quiet. I just need some calm right now." Ika was sitting down at the dinner table (it was more of a round table right inside the kitchen), holding a fork in one hand. The [[Knife]] was still on the table. Looking at it made her a little tense. She sat there and waited - unlike most people, she rarely found the tablets they produced from Synth City useful, so she always kept to herself. She'd been considering one, though - she doesn't like to wander her mind much these days. Mako interrupted her gloom. "Order up!", she said, smiling happily. "I made your favorite, a nice juicy impossible steak with a salad!" Ika smiled a bit herself. Yeah, that was her favorite dinner, but it wasn't her favorite *thing*. Her favorite thing was the sweet girl sitting across from her at the table, also having a steak and a baked tuber of some kind. She looked at her own steak, and couldn't wait to dig in, but she found her other hand shaking when trying to grab the knife. She grasped the fork just fine. The [[Spoon]] too, just the same. It's just a knife, isn't it? She wouldn't use it to hurt anyone, right? Not anymore? Right??? "Sweetie, what's wrong?" And there was the anchor. "I... I'm fine, I apologize. I hate to ask, but, can you cut mine, please?" She looked back at her knife. "I don't want to... get any ideas." "Ideas?", Mako asked. "Ideas for what?" Ika looked down at her plate and didn't say anything. Mako understood. "I'll cut it for you, but between us and the wall, I think you should probably learn how to properly use that." She grabbed Ika's plate and cut the steak into strips for her lover to eat. "That good?" Ika solemnly nodded, grabbing the plate and eating silently. Something was up, but Ika didn't want to talk and Mako didn't want to pry, her planned night of [[Romance]] seemingly having its flame extinguished. ... _{"I keep having flashbacks."} Hm? "Flashbacks? What do you mean, Ika?" Ika took a bite of her steak, and swallowed. Pretty good. "Promise not to laugh?" "I would never. This is your mental health we're talking about, I wanna make sure you're okay, you know?" Ika took a deep breath. "It's like watching a show, or something, but you're the screen. Sometimes the person watching flips the remote to a part of the show you really hate - that you're disgusted by, actually. It fills you with this... fear that you don't really get accustomed to." She takes another bite. "You know, this steak is actually really good, how'd you make this?" Mako recovered from her momentary shock. "Oh, uh, just some bay spice and a long cook time in the oven. But, how long have these flashbacks been happening?" Ika put another bite in her mouth. "Oh, ish beef- holf on." She swallowed. "Apologies. I'd say, maybe, 3 days? It feels like I just can't escape... whatever I did, I guess..." Mako pointed her fork at Ika's mouth. "That's not what *you* did. You're still recovering, remember? It could be a false memory." "I suppose, but still, it's haunting... Just, next time you see me shaking in the corner, just squeeze my arm. The only thing I need is to be in the present, the now." Ika looks at her lover. "Because you, Mako, you're my present."