*The following is an excerpt found within a torn journal. It's not known who it could have belonged to - it could easily be as old as a day, or as old as a thousand aeons. It's written in an ancient script - known by modern standards as Astral, but a best guess as to its meaning has been given.* Day 2578 It has been aeons since I fled the great towers of On High. I always pray for those still inside, for it is not easy to be a mage in these times. Yet, strangely, as of late, dearest of diaries, I find myself once again drawn to their captivity. Is it a drive to learn? A drive to be once more normal, or at least, what was once normal to us? The mind is always such a harmful place to dive into - I am never sure what to expect every time I look inwards. I got a call from one of my old peers back at the school. Sometimes I regret picking up the line, but they're always cheerful, even knowing I have defected. Their life has been going great, I am told, but sometimes tells me they might not be wholly truthful. How is it that they can effortlessly practice the arcane without falling into a spiral? I feel as though my mental state is declining, still. After having to cast so much at that fish, and seeing none of it really work as it's meant to... The feeling gets you down more so than regular afterburn. I keep studying, but nothing seems to help. I got to talk to some dear friends today. The red head has been doing well. She has always been on the up, but lately, she has been even more happy. I hope she pities me. Maybe she does. That green-haired girl she looks after... I do not understand. She is impudent, barely able to speak, with a past as heavy as a cart of rocks. Why her, of all people, to fall in love? She offers nothing useful. I do not understand love, truthfully. It is wasteful. Could one be truly unable to be without someone else? The concept is eluding and terrifying. I need to take the [[Edge]] off. I'm done for today. Here's to hoping the tonics can bate my feelings for another day.