*Author's Note:* *After having lost all my progress for Chapter 4, I figured I'd go back to documenting interesting and strange things I find in my travels. It's a bit demotivating, but I did find something interesting - while I was talking to the Dwarves' Village, I found a small journal, with a gear printed onto the cover. Though I should not have peaked, there was no name within, and most of the pages were torn. Below are the pages that were recoverable. I'm unsure as to what the call mentioning my name exactly pertains to - I make several calls a day for varying reasons.* Day 5478 I do not think I can take another day of this. I feel broken and whole all at once. My arm, it does not feel like mine. Sure, I can use it - I can manipulate it, I can change it, I can use it to screw in a lightbulb with ease, but it does not feel like mine. I see my roommate, with both of their arms the same, and I think, "Wow, wouldn't that be lovely?" Sometimes I wish I could just tear it off. Yes, yes, tear off the arm, tear it off, and be normal, I wouldn't have to be a Cyborg or a Synth or anything like that, I could be pure, I could be normal, I could *be normal!* I think tomorrow, I will head out into the woods, and see what I can do about this. ... Day 5479 I have set out into the forest - no, not just the forest, not just the woods, but into the fog, near the edge of The Plane. It's quite the trek, but I know I can make it. I just... no, should I? I feel so displaced in this world... Maybe it *would* be better if I just wasn't here. I never found a purpose. I never found what I was good at. I never was good at anything! I never was. I never was I never was I never was. The trees, they're so dense out here. Like the world wants me to stay. But why? What good have I added to it? What else could I possibly do? What else *is* there? My life holds no purposes and the world holds no meaning for me. I'm a coward. I can't do it. I couldn't fall. Couldn't make it past the bristle of the trees. I'll ask Edge tomorrow. Maybe they can help. ... Day 5480 Mages are no fucking help either. All I get is the same cryptic nonsense and a check to get supplies for the while. Said I should try and go out and talk to someone, sure, whatever. Went out into town via the carriage for the day, see what's going on. Saw this girl walking by listening to music, thought I would talk to her, maybe chat her up. You wanna know what she said?! All I did was just talk to her, and yet, and *yet!* She has the gall to tell me, "I'm not that important. You're not that important. Neither of us are that important. Maybe you should talk to someone more your speed. I'm not worth it, and neither are you. It's not happening." What does that even mean?! I just wanted to have a friend, or something, or maybe just *feel* something, but no, no, I can't even have that! I bet it's the arm, isn't it? Even though they've made strides in the city, I can't get any friends or nothing because I look horrible, I look like an aberration, I look horrible. It's probably awful and horrible of me, but sometimes, I think about having *her* back. At least *she* understood me, at least *she* would be nice to me and tell me that I looked fine enough, and that my stupid claw arm was okay to have and not to be ashamed of. Just- urgh! I'm a pathetic man. That's all it is, isn't it? I'm just pathetic. Got the stuff from the market, at least. Apparently we were running low on flour, which was news to me. Edge doesn't trust me with the kitchen anymore. What, because I put my arm under fire? You'd do the same! Everyone else would do the same. I got a call from *her* again. I didn't even know *she* had a wire these days... I ignored it, didn't have time. But then I got a call from someone else - a "Yalvol", apparently. I thought it was unrelated, but no, he was just "checking in", same as anyone else. It's always just a check-in. Making sure of, I don't know, maybe they would feel bad for just leaving the rot *to* rot?! Yalvol seems nice enough, but he doesn't care. Nobody cares. Nobody *gets it*.